Shepard's pie.

If there ever was a reason to want to sleep until september, it happened to me in the past 17 days. In the month of august I have hit a deer, gotten a house, gotten a roommate, had someone punch out a window in my new house, been cut by that window, lost a roommate, called the cops on a panhandler, had an uncle pass away, gained a neice, and had my ex's new girlfriend's ex's old employee's fiancee who works with me tell me that he has a new girlfriend. (gold star if you just followed all of that).
Let's backtrack for everyone who hasn't heard. After JW and I broke up I got into this really sweet, quaint house that I love. I had a roommate lined up and she moved her bed in, and that's as far as it got. We had a bad night, the window went out, and so did the plans for her moving in.
For the last part of all of that, people should wait until the end of my shift to tell me such things. The first bit of it began with being told that JW had been sleeping with an employee before we broke up and I moved out. If I had been told that about just about anyone else I may have believed it, but I gave the idea a brief second to process and quickly dismissed it as false. I pondered if perhaps I was just being a little too naive, but my heart and my head told me it wasn't true. After a quick meeting with him to go over a ridiculous cell phone bill that I aqcuired, I had a wierd sense of peace (for lack of a better word). I always thought I would do that wierd "ex" thing when I found out he had another girlfriend, especially this quickly. Instead I ranted on the phone for about 2 hours to my best friend about the hundred million things that were running throughout my thought neurons. I hated it that there was actually someone else in bed with him, and I hated it even more because it wasn't me, then I got pissed because I was alone. I remembered what it was like to be wrapped up in his arms, and it drove me absolutely jealously crazy to imagine someone else in that place where I was for so long. After letting the emotional rampage out, I started to think clearly like a rational functional human being. We spent a wonderful 9 months together, and I do still love him. Even though it does hurt, he is a wonderful person and deserves to be happy. Sucks that it's not with me, but he's happy. He seemed a lot happier today than I had seen him in a while. I still couldn't imagine life without him, but the way imagine him in my life is just a little different than I thought it would turn out.
The thing that makes it even more difficult is that I have nothing bad to say about her, she is beautiful, going to school, and has never done anything wrong to me. Plus if she makes him happy, then she is already a friend of mine. I always told him that if we ever broke up he would date her, me and my fat mouth. I can't bold faced lie and say that I'm not a little jealous, of course I am. At least he's not back to the blonde hair and blue eyes! lol.
Although today when he was over I couldn't help but feel the butterflies whirling around in my stomach when I looked into his eyes, and the twinge of pain when he left. I will always have a soft spot for JW and I can't say that if the opportunity presented itself, to pursue him again, that I would turn it down.
As of current, our parting ways has given me the luster to pursue some things just for me. I feel now that going back to school, quitting smoking, and definately easing up on the booze, were decisions that I made for me. The only reason that one should ever make life changing decisions, not to appease or keep someone or something. There are certain aspects in life where you have to pursue or not pursue opportunities with Selfishness as a direct motive.
Majority of my inner self is quite happy and contented right now. I am actually getting back to myself and enjoying things that I'm doing and doing things that I enjoy. I got a major declared and am looking at the big picture of my life and career. I can't keep money in my pocket to save my life, but it's not stressin me out, there will always be more money to be made.
A little fill in on the gossip for those who directly know me, the gold digger is pregnant. My old best friend is pregnant, her and her boyfriend are moving to east lansing together. My ex before JW got one of our friends from chicago to move up here and live with him. He finally came to realize that there is not going to be a future for us, and friends is all he's gonna get. I won't even start with work. I love my job and the people that I work with and my regulars, but people can't shut their pie holes for a half of a second.