I've been tagged once again...then I might actually say something interesting MAYBE!
Anyways, here goes.
2 names you go by:
beaus
Beth
2 parts of your heritage:
Korean
Swede
2 things that scare you:
failing myself
dying alone
2 of your everyday essentials:
J.W.
coffee
2 things you are wearing right now:
slippers
shirt
2 favorite bands or musical artists:
hmmm...lance's ipod left.
2 things you want in a relationship:
laughter
truth
2 things that appeal to you in a man:
passion
eyes
2 truths:
I am never going to actually change the size of my boobs (minus 5 grand)
Love should always be passionate
2 things you want really badly:
to finish school
a million dollars
2 you want to do before you die:
sky dive
marry the love of my life
2 stores where you shop:
Meijer
Martha's
Tag: LSD
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE:
1. Resident Aide for Alzheimers/dimensia patients
2. Server
3. Grease shop manager
4. Lingerie/adult novelties know it all
FOUR MOVIES YOU WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. Waking Life - except it made my brain hurt
2. Red, White, Blue
3. Closer
4. Tuesdays with maury
FOUR PLACES YOU HAVE LIVED:
1. Grand Rapids, Michigan
2. Sparta, Michigan
3. Carol Stream, Illinois
4. Walker, Michigan
FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH:
1. N/A
2. The cheesy soaps that are on while I clean the house
3. NFL football of any sort
4. Sex and the City
FOUR PLACES YOU HAVE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. Toronto, Ontario
2. Memphis, Tennessee
3. Montpellier/Paris, France
4. Mexico
FOUR OF YOUR FAVOURITE FOODS:
1. Korean Food
2. Chocolate
3. anything actually from Paris
4. Indian anything
FOUR PLACES YOU WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. Eating out at some restaurant with all of my favorite foods combined into a buffet
2. Some where warm and sunny
3. Climbing
4. Wrapped up in a blanket in front of a fire place with J.W.
TAG: Sass, Rev. Brylock
1. Resident Aide for Alzheimers/dimensia patients
2. Server
3. Grease shop manager
4. Lingerie/adult novelties know it all
FOUR MOVIES YOU WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. Waking Life - except it made my brain hurt
2. Red, White, Blue
3. Closer
4. Tuesdays with maury
FOUR PLACES YOU HAVE LIVED:
1. Grand Rapids, Michigan
2. Sparta, Michigan
3. Carol Stream, Illinois
4. Walker, Michigan
FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH:
1. N/A
2. The cheesy soaps that are on while I clean the house
3. NFL football of any sort
4. Sex and the City
FOUR PLACES YOU HAVE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. Toronto, Ontario
2. Memphis, Tennessee
3. Montpellier/Paris, France
4. Mexico
FOUR OF YOUR FAVOURITE FOODS:
1. Korean Food
2. Chocolate
3. anything actually from Paris
4. Indian anything
FOUR PLACES YOU WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. Eating out at some restaurant with all of my favorite foods combined into a buffet
2. Some where warm and sunny
3. Climbing
4. Wrapped up in a blanket in front of a fire place with J.W.
TAG: Sass, Rev. Brylock
Monday, January 16, 2006
1-2-3-4-5 BREATH
I had my first encounter with emergency CPR today. I went bowling with J.W. and in the middle of game 3 an anouncement came over the sound system "is there a doctor in the house, or a nurse." I walked over to the scene where many people were gathered over a man in his 60's weighing in at around 260 or so. He was laying on his back and his face was slightly blue-ish. There was a crowd around him and one person performing chest compressions. I made my way through and started breathing for him, for about a minute. An R.N. came in and took over for me, and I stood watching as he lay there having his heart pumped and his lungs filled for him. Suddenly it occured to me, tilt his head back and pull his chin down or he'll choke on his tongue so I jumped back in and assisted that way. A man tried to pull me back out of the mix and I told him I knew CPR and what I was doing. 3 minutes and still no pulse, it didn't look good, suddenly the EMT's walked through the door and the crowd called for them. I made my way back to the table I had been sitting at all night and wiped my mouth as many people asked me how the man was. "He's in cardiac arrest, but he has many good signs." I answered as I walked past and sat down at the table.
This night made me too knowingly aware of exactly how mortal each of us are. This man was due for open heart surgery at the end of the month, and he lay on the approach of spectrum lanes. It really hit me as everyone started bowling again, this man was somebody's father, grandfather, uncle, cousin and brother. As a patron of heart failure I realized how pissed I would be at the person just like me.........They helped him breathe for a while and when their duties were passed they went back to drinking beer.
I sympathize with that person who got that phone call that he had had a heart attack and was on his way to the hospital. I thought of all the questions I knew they had running through their mind, and I realized it was better that no one answered them. 3 nurses, and 3 N.T's that just went back to their evening events as soon as he was in someone elses hands.
How many different billions of lives go on as normal while one persons world absolutely falls apart at the mere ringing of the phone. It brings new meaning, for me, to life and all the amazing expectations I have for mine. As my life is merely beginnning and I have endless possibilities, someone else is ending their time on this earth, and many other people are mourning the end of that life.
This night made me too knowingly aware of exactly how mortal each of us are. This man was due for open heart surgery at the end of the month, and he lay on the approach of spectrum lanes. It really hit me as everyone started bowling again, this man was somebody's father, grandfather, uncle, cousin and brother. As a patron of heart failure I realized how pissed I would be at the person just like me.........They helped him breathe for a while and when their duties were passed they went back to drinking beer.
I sympathize with that person who got that phone call that he had had a heart attack and was on his way to the hospital. I thought of all the questions I knew they had running through their mind, and I realized it was better that no one answered them. 3 nurses, and 3 N.T's that just went back to their evening events as soon as he was in someone elses hands.
How many different billions of lives go on as normal while one persons world absolutely falls apart at the mere ringing of the phone. It brings new meaning, for me, to life and all the amazing expectations I have for mine. As my life is merely beginnning and I have endless possibilities, someone else is ending their time on this earth, and many other people are mourning the end of that life.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Dear John's sympathy
I've got nothing really profound to say today. I just wanted ya'all to be able to read what My ex wrote me when I sent him the "dear-john, I don't love you anymore so move on" letter.
Thank u for everything in life i have good toughts from our past and i know that u r happy where u r in life now i still want to keep in touch with u but if its to hard then i understand u gave my life meaning and to this day u still i wish i could change things back but i have burned any chance of that ever happening so may u forgive me for my sins and past problems. i am a happy but sad person still i hope one day i find a girl like u again. Somone that will give my life a reason to smile about and get up everyday and think that i am gald to be live. I hold u in my thoughts and in everything i do i miss the times we had and r missing but i am very happy for u and jon. to me u were my frist true love and always will be to me u r the one that i let slip away with out ever trying to stop it
I hope u do marry jon and i hope u get everything in life u deserve.
Just remember that u a smart and beatuiful women and know this he doesn't make u who u r u make him the man he is. Please don't pray for me for i am ok with out his help in this life.
good bye bethany
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, he can't type to save his life, but for some strange reason I actualy feel sorry for him. I have waited a long time for the apology from him, and I thought that it would be gratifying and boost my ego. Now that I finally got it, I can't help but have sympathy for him.
Thank u for everything in life i have good toughts from our past and i know that u r happy where u r in life now i still want to keep in touch with u but if its to hard then i understand u gave my life meaning and to this day u still i wish i could change things back but i have burned any chance of that ever happening so may u forgive me for my sins and past problems. i am a happy but sad person still i hope one day i find a girl like u again. Somone that will give my life a reason to smile about and get up everyday and think that i am gald to be live. I hold u in my thoughts and in everything i do i miss the times we had and r missing but i am very happy for u and jon. to me u were my frist true love and always will be to me u r the one that i let slip away with out ever trying to stop it
I hope u do marry jon and i hope u get everything in life u deserve.
Just remember that u a smart and beatuiful women and know this he doesn't make u who u r u make him the man he is. Please don't pray for me for i am ok with out his help in this life.
good bye bethany
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, he can't type to save his life, but for some strange reason I actualy feel sorry for him. I have waited a long time for the apology from him, and I thought that it would be gratifying and boost my ego. Now that I finally got it, I can't help but have sympathy for him.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Past to Present and the changes in the middle
While out perusing through Best Buy one night, my boyfriend and I ran into an old friend from high school's mom. We stood chatting a while and did a 10 min catch up on the past two years or so. What everyone was up to, and the normal disfunction that has been going on in that family since I was about 8.
After a little chatting both parties had to run and I was left with a phone number to somebody who used to know me better than anyone else on the face of this planet. I pondered the phone number for a couple of days and eventually called her and we set a time for us to catch up.
She came over a couple of days ago and we sat in our dining room chatting about old memories and new occurances in our lives, over coffee. It made us both laugh how different it was that we were sitting over coffee discussing our lives, instead of going out and getting insanely drunk and doing something illegal.
Recap- D.G. and I used to be best friends in high school. She was one of the few people that I maintained contact with post graduation, and we hung out at least once every few months as not to lose touch. This failed and we eventually stopped talking after more than a few incidences of her taking full advantage of my willingness to help a friend out.
It is quite interesting to look back on the years of my life and how I have changed and grown since the day that I met D.G. We were in 2nd grade and she yelled at me for chasing Dave around the playground. I'm sure in high school we had many major meltdowns over my prom dress being stained or the newest fling breaking up with us, but in this conversation we talked of work and the men in our lives. We spent time dwelling on our spirituality and faith, and the newest accomplishments. Everything changed and we changed, neither of us ended up the way we thought we would be at 21. For some reason, though, I couldn't help but sit and think of how lucky I am.
After a little chatting both parties had to run and I was left with a phone number to somebody who used to know me better than anyone else on the face of this planet. I pondered the phone number for a couple of days and eventually called her and we set a time for us to catch up.
She came over a couple of days ago and we sat in our dining room chatting about old memories and new occurances in our lives, over coffee. It made us both laugh how different it was that we were sitting over coffee discussing our lives, instead of going out and getting insanely drunk and doing something illegal.
Recap- D.G. and I used to be best friends in high school. She was one of the few people that I maintained contact with post graduation, and we hung out at least once every few months as not to lose touch. This failed and we eventually stopped talking after more than a few incidences of her taking full advantage of my willingness to help a friend out.
It is quite interesting to look back on the years of my life and how I have changed and grown since the day that I met D.G. We were in 2nd grade and she yelled at me for chasing Dave around the playground. I'm sure in high school we had many major meltdowns over my prom dress being stained or the newest fling breaking up with us, but in this conversation we talked of work and the men in our lives. We spent time dwelling on our spirituality and faith, and the newest accomplishments. Everything changed and we changed, neither of us ended up the way we thought we would be at 21. For some reason, though, I couldn't help but sit and think of how lucky I am.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
I'm not dating your family
"You can tell them, I don't care, they're just going to start judging you and think you're a whore."
This is the base-line of the recent domestic dispute between the beau and I. We've been basically living together for a period of time now, and it's been great. My family is a bible thumping family and they have learned to accept the fact that my life decisions are mine to make and mine alone. They may not exactly be ok with the fact that I choose to co-habitate with my boyfriend, but they are accepting and supportive of the fact. They think no less of him nor I, but would rather that I not reside with him. The main reasoning of my families distain for my choice is most likely the same as his...we don't believe in sex before marriage and living together is pretty much a guaranteed sign of that. I see their point and I have dually noted this fact.
My problem with the situation is not that I don't understand that point it is this...
I have to bold faced lie when asked if i'm still at home, and it makes me feel as though I need to lie in order to get people to like and accept me. That's bullshit, I have never felt the need to be something i'm not in order to get approval from anybody. I've always been told never to change for anybody and not to worry about how people percieve me. I am who I am. Feeling like I have to don the string of pearls and petticoat whenever i'm in the vicinity of his family bothers me.
This is the base-line of the recent domestic dispute between the beau and I. We've been basically living together for a period of time now, and it's been great. My family is a bible thumping family and they have learned to accept the fact that my life decisions are mine to make and mine alone. They may not exactly be ok with the fact that I choose to co-habitate with my boyfriend, but they are accepting and supportive of the fact. They think no less of him nor I, but would rather that I not reside with him. The main reasoning of my families distain for my choice is most likely the same as his...we don't believe in sex before marriage and living together is pretty much a guaranteed sign of that. I see their point and I have dually noted this fact.
My problem with the situation is not that I don't understand that point it is this...
I have to bold faced lie when asked if i'm still at home, and it makes me feel as though I need to lie in order to get people to like and accept me. That's bullshit, I have never felt the need to be something i'm not in order to get approval from anybody. I've always been told never to change for anybody and not to worry about how people percieve me. I am who I am. Feeling like I have to don the string of pearls and petticoat whenever i'm in the vicinity of his family bothers me.
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