'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.
I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.
I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE.
NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.
WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND.
FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.
THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.
THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.
WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I'D JUST READ? CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED?
I REALIZED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT, OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.
SOON ROUND THE WORLD, THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY, AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.
THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR, BECAUSE OF THE
SOLDIERS, LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.
I COULDN'T HELP WONDER HOW MANY LAY ALONE, ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.
THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE, I DROPPED TO MY KNEES AND STARTED TO CRY.
THE SOLDIER AWAKENED AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE, "SANTA DON'T CRY, THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;
I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM, I DON'T ASK FOR MORE, MY LIFE IS MY GOD, MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."
THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP, I COULDN'T CONTROL IT, I CONTINUED TO WEEP.
I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS, SO SILENT AND STILL AND WE BOTH SHIVERED FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.
I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT, THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR SO WILLING TO FIGHT.
THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE, WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA, IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."
ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH, AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."
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I first heard this poem on the radio as I was on my way to Christmas Eve service tonight. It made me cry as I was driving. I don't know who originally wrote it, but I thought it deserved to be read. I am not sure how many of you have loved ones out there in uniform, or how many of you are missing them this holiday season. This war may not be right, nor Americ'as business. I don't really know. The only thing I know for sure is that I support our troops and pray for them to return safely. I have many friends and family enlisted, and my father and grandmother are veterans.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
He gave me another chance to begin
I was going through some of my things that are packed away in boxes from my last move home to my mom and dad's. As I sorted through pots and pans, dishes, and an assortment of decorations that i don't remember what possessed my to buy, I stumbled on some sentimentals. Old pictures, things we had bought together, and a book that covered our entire relationship. I don't know why, but before I knew it I was propped up against the bed looking through pictures and reading entries about the days we had spent together. All of the events that had become nothing more than memories of living in another state started flooding back and raced around in my head like horses at the track. Suddenly, instead of just being memories of another time, they became memories of another person. I closed my eyes and could see, clearly as now I see the screen, every small detail of that apartment. Walk in the door and there is a closet to the right, the kitchen is to the left. Walk through the kitchen and there is the dining room table, turn right, living room the back of a blue and white sofa stops your path, end table to the left pushed against the wall, and another sofa against the same wall creating an "L" of furniture. There was a recliner in front of the glass sliding door, and a HUGE entertainment center opposite the sofa against the wall. Turn right into the hallway, light swith on the right, big round light cover just in front of the first bedroom door. Our bedroom....pushed against the far wall and left wall, the bed. Right wall, 3 level free-standing storage full of stuff, clothes, mail....next to that, a dresser. Opposite the bed, large walk-in closet, with another dresser length-wise agains the wall between the end of the bed and the closet with a tv on it. Left out of the bedroom, left into the hallway..closet to the right, bathroom to the right, bedroom to the left. Tim and Kristina's room. Smells of smoke, and pot. they have the bigger room and another bathroom. Could never stand the smell of that room, nor the people who occupied it.
**Banging of something falling down the stairs**
I jumped when I came back into the present reality. I started putting all the memories and thoughts back into the box, but was stopped by one particular picture. It was a picture of the large group of friends all laughing and smiling at the camera, it was the last time all of us were together in that apartment. People graduated, and we moved into an apartment with Ryan and Tyler. I stared blankly at the picture, trying to remember that particular night. The only thing I could recall was that we had played president and asshole (drinking game) and kristina puked outside due to overconsumption of Malibu.
Now that the christmas season is here I can't help but feel a small twinge of pain. I think of the life that I had built with him and the many holiday seasons I spent with him. Each christmas/new year's season, we stood together and looked at the endless possibilities for the new year that was coming. I have been told it's because I'm not over him, but do you really ever get over having your world shattered and your heart ripped out? Sure, you move on and push it to the back of your mind, but it's still there.
This year I look forward to starting a new year for different reasons, than years in the past. I look forward to a true beginning, and a wonderful endless amount of possiblities. I look forward to starting a new year with someone who has absolutely swept me off my feet. More importantly, I look forward to the development of myself in the coming 12 months.
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Happy holidays to everyone. I hope 2006 is good to you!
**Banging of something falling down the stairs**
I jumped when I came back into the present reality. I started putting all the memories and thoughts back into the box, but was stopped by one particular picture. It was a picture of the large group of friends all laughing and smiling at the camera, it was the last time all of us were together in that apartment. People graduated, and we moved into an apartment with Ryan and Tyler. I stared blankly at the picture, trying to remember that particular night. The only thing I could recall was that we had played president and asshole (drinking game) and kristina puked outside due to overconsumption of Malibu.
Now that the christmas season is here I can't help but feel a small twinge of pain. I think of the life that I had built with him and the many holiday seasons I spent with him. Each christmas/new year's season, we stood together and looked at the endless possibilities for the new year that was coming. I have been told it's because I'm not over him, but do you really ever get over having your world shattered and your heart ripped out? Sure, you move on and push it to the back of your mind, but it's still there.
This year I look forward to starting a new year for different reasons, than years in the past. I look forward to a true beginning, and a wonderful endless amount of possiblities. I look forward to starting a new year with someone who has absolutely swept me off my feet. More importantly, I look forward to the development of myself in the coming 12 months.
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Happy holidays to everyone. I hope 2006 is good to you!
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
seriously, what the f---
I've been dreaming this week......which is not really that abnormal. The abnormal part is that they all have pertained to the new object of my affection.
1. He stabs me in the leg with a butcher's knife, and his roommate laughs at me
2. He tells me sex is purely physical and has nothing to do with our relationship and he can find it anywhere, then I throw an ashtray at his head
3. We're eating pizza in the kitchen, then we're having sex.....endlessly
4.We're out to dinner with some friends, who i don't recognize, then we're driving in the mountains somewhere, then we're at sunday afternoon lunch with my family...only we're at his apartment.
I don't have any idea about these dream analysis things, nor do I know if I believe them. SO, i check them out anyways. These are the interpretations I got
STAB-To dream that you have been stabbed, signifies your struggle with power. You may be experiencing feelings of inadequacy and defensiveness. Alternatively, you may be feeling betrayed as the popular phrase goes, "being stabbed in the back".
To dream that you stab someone, indicates your fear of betrayal and your untrusting nature. You may be too much on the defensive.
LAUGH-To dream that you are laughing, suggests that you need to lighten up and let go of your problems. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Laughing is also a sign of joyous release and pleasure.
To hear the cheerful laughter of children, denotes splendid joy and vital health.
To hear evil, demonic laughing in your dream, represents feelings of humiliation and/or helplessness.
ANGER-To dream that you are holding or expressing anger, symbolizes frustrations and disappointments in your Self. You tend to repress your negative emotions or project your anger onto others. You need to look within yourself.
Being angry in your dream may have been carried over from your waking life. Dreams can function as a safe outlet where you can express your strong and/or negative emotions. You have some suppressed anger and aggression that you have not consciously acknowledged.
PIZZA-To see or eat pizza in your dream, represents abundance, choices, and variety. It may also indicate that you are lacking or feeling deprived of something.
SEX-To dream about sex, may be your libido's way of telling you that it's been too long since you have had sex. It may indicate repressed sexual desires and your needs for physical and emotional love.
EATING-To see food in your dream, represents physical and emotional nourishment and energies. The different types of food can symbolize a wide range of things. Generally, fruit is symbolic of sensuality. Frozen foods may imply your cold emotions and frigid ways. Eating certain foods refers to qualities that you need to incorporate within your own self.
To dream that you are eating with others, denotes prosperous undertakings, personal gain, and joyous spirits.
DRIVING-To dream that you are driving a vehicle, signifies your life's journey and your path in life. The dream is telling of how you are moving and navigating through life. If you are driving and cannot see the road ahead of you, then it indicates that you do not know where you are headed in life and what you really want to do with yourself. You are lacking direction and goals.
To dream that someone else is driving you, denotes fortune and that you will profit from your superior knowledge and ingenuity. If you are driving from the passenger side of a car, then it suggests that you are trying to gain control of the path that your life is taking. You are beginning to make your own decisions.
So, after reading all of these interpretations and pyscho-therapy stuff...I still have no conclusion.
Maybe it is merely an overactive imagination going to work, or maybe it really is my sub-concious trying to tell me that I am insecure and scared. Who knows.
1. He stabs me in the leg with a butcher's knife, and his roommate laughs at me
2. He tells me sex is purely physical and has nothing to do with our relationship and he can find it anywhere, then I throw an ashtray at his head
3. We're eating pizza in the kitchen, then we're having sex.....endlessly
4.We're out to dinner with some friends, who i don't recognize, then we're driving in the mountains somewhere, then we're at sunday afternoon lunch with my family...only we're at his apartment.
I don't have any idea about these dream analysis things, nor do I know if I believe them. SO, i check them out anyways. These are the interpretations I got
STAB-To dream that you have been stabbed, signifies your struggle with power. You may be experiencing feelings of inadequacy and defensiveness. Alternatively, you may be feeling betrayed as the popular phrase goes, "being stabbed in the back".
To dream that you stab someone, indicates your fear of betrayal and your untrusting nature. You may be too much on the defensive.
LAUGH-To dream that you are laughing, suggests that you need to lighten up and let go of your problems. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Laughing is also a sign of joyous release and pleasure.
To hear the cheerful laughter of children, denotes splendid joy and vital health.
To hear evil, demonic laughing in your dream, represents feelings of humiliation and/or helplessness.
ANGER-To dream that you are holding or expressing anger, symbolizes frustrations and disappointments in your Self. You tend to repress your negative emotions or project your anger onto others. You need to look within yourself.
Being angry in your dream may have been carried over from your waking life. Dreams can function as a safe outlet where you can express your strong and/or negative emotions. You have some suppressed anger and aggression that you have not consciously acknowledged.
PIZZA-To see or eat pizza in your dream, represents abundance, choices, and variety. It may also indicate that you are lacking or feeling deprived of something.
SEX-To dream about sex, may be your libido's way of telling you that it's been too long since you have had sex. It may indicate repressed sexual desires and your needs for physical and emotional love.
EATING-To see food in your dream, represents physical and emotional nourishment and energies. The different types of food can symbolize a wide range of things. Generally, fruit is symbolic of sensuality. Frozen foods may imply your cold emotions and frigid ways. Eating certain foods refers to qualities that you need to incorporate within your own self.
To dream that you are eating with others, denotes prosperous undertakings, personal gain, and joyous spirits.
DRIVING-To dream that you are driving a vehicle, signifies your life's journey and your path in life. The dream is telling of how you are moving and navigating through life. If you are driving and cannot see the road ahead of you, then it indicates that you do not know where you are headed in life and what you really want to do with yourself. You are lacking direction and goals.
To dream that someone else is driving you, denotes fortune and that you will profit from your superior knowledge and ingenuity. If you are driving from the passenger side of a car, then it suggests that you are trying to gain control of the path that your life is taking. You are beginning to make your own decisions.
So, after reading all of these interpretations and pyscho-therapy stuff...I still have no conclusion.
Maybe it is merely an overactive imagination going to work, or maybe it really is my sub-concious trying to tell me that I am insecure and scared. Who knows.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Baseball bat, anyone?
So today is sunday, and i was raised in the church. Being a part of my family automatically indicates that you presence is required every sunday at church, then for family dinner afterwards. . . not too bad. Until you actually meet my mother.
Everybody has a fully functioning disfuntion somewhere, somehow in their family. Ours is that, even though my mother tries with all her power to hide it, all of the children resent her for the parental cramming of religion down our throats. Now, raising your children in the church is not a bad thing. I do believe that many of my good morals, and absence in the presence of attrocities such as being a crack addicted hoe, have spawned from being in the church.
I do not, however, believe that as a fully functioning and independant 21 year old...I should be forced to be in attendance to the facility of my mother's choice every sunday morning and evening. If I chose to stay home and lay in bed with my boyfriend, is that not my decision to make? God's gift of free will was not a rash mistake he made in the creation process. Free will and the ability to make decisions for ourselves was an attribute we were blessed with.
Now, the bad becomes worse when one of us starts dating an individual. They have now, usually uknowingly, been dragged into this idea that all decent human beings must be at church every sunday, and then family dinner afterward. If you are a potential for one of her children, the first and foremost pre-requisite is that you attend church. Fine and Dandy. The catch is...you must then change your religion and preference of establishments to her personal favorite...my"home church." No questions asked, end of discussion, deal with it or get the hell out.
This is my dillema. How, for the love of everything, do you approach the religion topic in such a manner without saying...
"My mother is friggin psycho and demands that you go to "our" church every sunday and then come to her house for family dinner afterwards. Every sunday. And if we get married, for the rest of your natural life."
Everything about religion is based on faith, beliefs, and choice. It is your choice to become a believer, attend services, live a "godly" life, or to completely forego the idea of religion all together. You have to make those decisions based on what you believe and your personal faith in higher deity. Correct me if i'm wrong, but i don't recall a passage in the good book saying anything along the lines of ....
"believe what my mother believes, or you're going to hell....in a handbasket."
I have been in attendance of my family church since I was 18 months old. I became a member at 15, and then I realized what a whole big world there was out there. Does that mean that I have completely turned my back on religion, NO. This simply means that I have decided to live a life where I experience the things I wish to experience. Some very bad circumstances have become of these decisions, but they were mine non the less. God did not strike me dead because I decided to have a beer, sleep with my boyfriend, or smoke a cigarette. Were these "correct" decisions....well I'll let ya know after I'm dead. I still have a very religous base, I do not claim to be a christian. I claim to be a believer, I believe in God and the trinity. I believe in Heaven and Hell, I believe that the basics of human existence is based on his divine..for lack of a better word...power. I believe he created the earth, and that someday I will see him. Whether or not I am wrong is unkown to anyone. Like I said, I'll let you know when I'm dead.
I am happy with my life and my life decisions. I am not always proud, but i'm content with them, and to let them go. Being that I'm my mothers (adopted) daughter, I feel the need to don my wings and halo whenever I am in her presence. I would like to tell her that I had a totally fuckin rockin day at the climbing gym, or that her opinions are driving me up a wall and to watch out for the guys in white coats with needles that are coming to put her in a padded room. Instead, out of sheer debt to her, I smile and just walk away. This has become a problem also. Fuck, I just can't win.
I love the woman, mainly because she's my mother, but Damn, I can't stand her.
wow, i got way off track. Sorry about the endless ramblings about my mother....I hate rambling.
Anyways, Freedom of religion. Anybody remember that? i'm pretty sure that's quite a hot issue around these states. Now, if somebody would baseball bat that into some people's heads... people wouldn't need beer, strip clubs, and recreational drugs.
Everybody has a fully functioning disfuntion somewhere, somehow in their family. Ours is that, even though my mother tries with all her power to hide it, all of the children resent her for the parental cramming of religion down our throats. Now, raising your children in the church is not a bad thing. I do believe that many of my good morals, and absence in the presence of attrocities such as being a crack addicted hoe, have spawned from being in the church.
I do not, however, believe that as a fully functioning and independant 21 year old...I should be forced to be in attendance to the facility of my mother's choice every sunday morning and evening. If I chose to stay home and lay in bed with my boyfriend, is that not my decision to make? God's gift of free will was not a rash mistake he made in the creation process. Free will and the ability to make decisions for ourselves was an attribute we were blessed with.
Now, the bad becomes worse when one of us starts dating an individual. They have now, usually uknowingly, been dragged into this idea that all decent human beings must be at church every sunday, and then family dinner afterward. If you are a potential for one of her children, the first and foremost pre-requisite is that you attend church. Fine and Dandy. The catch is...you must then change your religion and preference of establishments to her personal favorite...my"home church." No questions asked, end of discussion, deal with it or get the hell out.
This is my dillema. How, for the love of everything, do you approach the religion topic in such a manner without saying...
"My mother is friggin psycho and demands that you go to "our" church every sunday and then come to her house for family dinner afterwards. Every sunday. And if we get married, for the rest of your natural life."
Everything about religion is based on faith, beliefs, and choice. It is your choice to become a believer, attend services, live a "godly" life, or to completely forego the idea of religion all together. You have to make those decisions based on what you believe and your personal faith in higher deity. Correct me if i'm wrong, but i don't recall a passage in the good book saying anything along the lines of ....
"believe what my mother believes, or you're going to hell....in a handbasket."
I have been in attendance of my family church since I was 18 months old. I became a member at 15, and then I realized what a whole big world there was out there. Does that mean that I have completely turned my back on religion, NO. This simply means that I have decided to live a life where I experience the things I wish to experience. Some very bad circumstances have become of these decisions, but they were mine non the less. God did not strike me dead because I decided to have a beer, sleep with my boyfriend, or smoke a cigarette. Were these "correct" decisions....well I'll let ya know after I'm dead. I still have a very religous base, I do not claim to be a christian. I claim to be a believer, I believe in God and the trinity. I believe in Heaven and Hell, I believe that the basics of human existence is based on his divine..for lack of a better word...power. I believe he created the earth, and that someday I will see him. Whether or not I am wrong is unkown to anyone. Like I said, I'll let you know when I'm dead.
I am happy with my life and my life decisions. I am not always proud, but i'm content with them, and to let them go. Being that I'm my mothers (adopted) daughter, I feel the need to don my wings and halo whenever I am in her presence. I would like to tell her that I had a totally fuckin rockin day at the climbing gym, or that her opinions are driving me up a wall and to watch out for the guys in white coats with needles that are coming to put her in a padded room. Instead, out of sheer debt to her, I smile and just walk away. This has become a problem also. Fuck, I just can't win.
I love the woman, mainly because she's my mother, but Damn, I can't stand her.
wow, i got way off track. Sorry about the endless ramblings about my mother....I hate rambling.
Anyways, Freedom of religion. Anybody remember that? i'm pretty sure that's quite a hot issue around these states. Now, if somebody would baseball bat that into some people's heads... people wouldn't need beer, strip clubs, and recreational drugs.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Manipulative....(radio edit)
My friend, we'll call her lucy, is dating an absolutely wonderful guy who takes care of her every whim. She manages( somehow) to get him to believe that she is the good christian, family oriented, semi-conservative type of woman that he wants to marry. (This is wrong)
They are dating for around 2 months, and already the talk of indefinite ties to each other are in their very near future...ie..kids, marriage, buying a house, and vacations to such places as Hawaii. This wouldn't be all so bad, except for the fact that she is lying to herself and everyone around her. Lucy, is the party girl that pretends to be christian reformed (whole other conversation of hypocrisy and double standards).
Ok...back up, background on Lucy.
I meet her when we are both working at a restaraunt in grand rapids. She is 19 and i'm newly 21. . . Need I say more. Get drunk, go to work, and kiss as many boys as possible. Our differences, she likes the recreational use of certain substances...ok...not so recreational, more like daily. She is introduced to my friend, Alex, and decides that he is of the dateable type. WRONG. They merely turn into fuck buddies, and she ends up falling off the earth to date this guy....Pat. So a mere, 2 days after having a completely physical and un-emotional encounter with Alex, she meets Pat...and suddenly, a leopard CAN change it's spots.
back to the story.
She meets Pat, moves in with him, and now they have been self consumed in their couple-ness for a little over 3 months. This is fine...fast moving relationships are not a bad thing (personal experience, i'm in one). The false sense of security that she is getting out of this relationship is a bad thing.
Now there is definite talk of babies...wait..hold on, no. SHE wants a baby, he wants one SOMEDAY!!! big difference. She has imbeded into her blonde little skull, that because of there is talk of the future it is definite. WRONG.
She has now swindled him buying her a car, letting her drive his Navigator until then, buying a new house (in Jenison/hudsonville), and taking a cruise.
Lucy and Pat decide one day to actually talk about babies, marriage, and all that jazz. He wants them someday, and she decides that in the 3 months they have been together....it is too long to go without hearing the "L" word. (what is it in a girl's brain that makes her think that the minute she actually hears that word, everything is set in stone and she can just do whatever she wants because she has won the battle....WRONG). She tells him "I can't have your baby, you don't even love me."
*Pause* thinking of how many different ways I'd like to tell her that her brain is full of mush and she's a lying manipulative bitch....
Ok...No one ever said Pat wanted babies immediately. She thinks a baby will make him marry her sooner. Tricking someone into saying something like "I love you" is just wrong. It completely devoids it of all true emotion and feeling. Love is not obligational when coming to voluntary relationships. I am indebted, and have to love my mother..not so with my boyfriend. I don't know if this is actually a spawn off of a horrible childhood, or if she has a gross misconception that words are indefinite.
So, quick overview.
She likes him because he takes care of her and pays for everything. and he says I love you.
Sad little being.
They are dating for around 2 months, and already the talk of indefinite ties to each other are in their very near future...ie..kids, marriage, buying a house, and vacations to such places as Hawaii. This wouldn't be all so bad, except for the fact that she is lying to herself and everyone around her. Lucy, is the party girl that pretends to be christian reformed (whole other conversation of hypocrisy and double standards).
Ok...back up, background on Lucy.
I meet her when we are both working at a restaraunt in grand rapids. She is 19 and i'm newly 21. . . Need I say more. Get drunk, go to work, and kiss as many boys as possible. Our differences, she likes the recreational use of certain substances...ok...not so recreational, more like daily. She is introduced to my friend, Alex, and decides that he is of the dateable type. WRONG. They merely turn into fuck buddies, and she ends up falling off the earth to date this guy....Pat. So a mere, 2 days after having a completely physical and un-emotional encounter with Alex, she meets Pat...and suddenly, a leopard CAN change it's spots.
back to the story.
She meets Pat, moves in with him, and now they have been self consumed in their couple-ness for a little over 3 months. This is fine...fast moving relationships are not a bad thing (personal experience, i'm in one). The false sense of security that she is getting out of this relationship is a bad thing.
Now there is definite talk of babies...wait..hold on, no. SHE wants a baby, he wants one SOMEDAY!!! big difference. She has imbeded into her blonde little skull, that because of there is talk of the future it is definite. WRONG.
She has now swindled him buying her a car, letting her drive his Navigator until then, buying a new house (in Jenison/hudsonville), and taking a cruise.
Lucy and Pat decide one day to actually talk about babies, marriage, and all that jazz. He wants them someday, and she decides that in the 3 months they have been together....it is too long to go without hearing the "L" word. (what is it in a girl's brain that makes her think that the minute she actually hears that word, everything is set in stone and she can just do whatever she wants because she has won the battle....WRONG). She tells him "I can't have your baby, you don't even love me."
*Pause* thinking of how many different ways I'd like to tell her that her brain is full of mush and she's a lying manipulative bitch....
Ok...No one ever said Pat wanted babies immediately. She thinks a baby will make him marry her sooner. Tricking someone into saying something like "I love you" is just wrong. It completely devoids it of all true emotion and feeling. Love is not obligational when coming to voluntary relationships. I am indebted, and have to love my mother..not so with my boyfriend. I don't know if this is actually a spawn off of a horrible childhood, or if she has a gross misconception that words are indefinite.
So, quick overview.
She likes him because he takes care of her and pays for everything. and he says I love you.
Sad little being.
Yeah, you're a moron
I go to the bar last night with my boyfriend to meet up with some old friends I haven't seen in a while. We go through the introductions and I say "hi" My friend is there with his ex-girlfriend and his new girlfriend is going to be there later.
Ok...bad scenario in many ways. He rides with his ex (who his current doesn't like) and plans to ride home with her. His current is a cop....ummm...need I say more
Anyways..We drink, and laugh. Jon and I laugh at the drunkeness of the two, and evaluate the new girlfriend.
"Hmmm....maybe she's the good, settle down type." Now this is as bad as when a guy asks if your single friend is hot and you reply with "they're cute" or they "have a great personality"
So, as the night closes Jon and I are going to leave early. But of course, we stay for the last songs.
Friends in low places
Sweet home alabama
We leave, get home, and of course.....the phone rings
It's my buddy on a drunken rambling about how he still loves his ex, and doesn't know what to do. Not to mention, he decided since the lines weren't clearly drawn about his new girl...he slept with someone else.
I listen to his ramblings, knowing full well he's drunk and, there's no reasoning with him. . .
So, boys and girls...lesson for today
DON'T bring your ex girlfriend to the bar when you know you're meeting your current there.
Oh...and don't run around screwing other people...even if there is a grey area..
Just asking for an ass whooping.
Ok...bad scenario in many ways. He rides with his ex (who his current doesn't like) and plans to ride home with her. His current is a cop....ummm...need I say more
Anyways..We drink, and laugh. Jon and I laugh at the drunkeness of the two, and evaluate the new girlfriend.
"Hmmm....maybe she's the good, settle down type." Now this is as bad as when a guy asks if your single friend is hot and you reply with "they're cute" or they "have a great personality"
So, as the night closes Jon and I are going to leave early. But of course, we stay for the last songs.
Friends in low places
Sweet home alabama
We leave, get home, and of course.....the phone rings
It's my buddy on a drunken rambling about how he still loves his ex, and doesn't know what to do. Not to mention, he decided since the lines weren't clearly drawn about his new girl...he slept with someone else.
I listen to his ramblings, knowing full well he's drunk and, there's no reasoning with him. . .
So, boys and girls...lesson for today
DON'T bring your ex girlfriend to the bar when you know you're meeting your current there.
Oh...and don't run around screwing other people...even if there is a grey area..
Just asking for an ass whooping.
Friday, December 09, 2005
What everywoman should have...
one old loveshe can imaginegoing back to
and one who reminds her how far she has come
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own
even if she never wants to or needs to
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour
a youth she's content to leave behind
and a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a blacklace bra
one friend who always makes her laugh
and one who lets her cry
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family
eight matching plates, wineglasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored
a feeling of control over her destiny
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
how to fall in love without losing herself
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship
when to try harder... and when to walk away
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents
that her childhood may not have been perfect...
but its over
what she would and wouldn't do for love
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally
where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchentable
or a charming inn in the woods
when her soul needs soothing
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year...
and one who reminds her how far she has come
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own
even if she never wants to or needs to
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour
a youth she's content to leave behind
and a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a blacklace bra
one friend who always makes her laugh
and one who lets her cry
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family
eight matching plates, wineglasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored
a feeling of control over her destiny
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
how to fall in love without losing herself
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship
when to try harder... and when to walk away
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents
that her childhood may not have been perfect...
but its over
what she would and wouldn't do for love
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally
where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchentable
or a charming inn in the woods
when her soul needs soothing
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year...
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