I've been tagged once again...then I might actually say something interesting MAYBE!
Anyways, here goes.

2 names you go by:
beaus
Beth

2 parts of your heritage:
Korean
Swede

2 things that scare you:
failing myself
dying alone

2 of your everyday essentials:
J.W.
coffee

2 things you are wearing right now:
slippers
shirt

2 favorite bands or musical artists:
hmmm...lance's ipod left.

2 things you want in a relationship:
laughter
truth

2 things that appeal to you in a man:
passion
eyes

2 truths:
I am never going to actually change the size of my boobs (minus 5 grand)
Love should always be passionate

2 things you want really badly:
to finish school
a million dollars

2 you want to do before you die:
sky dive
marry the love of my life

2 stores where you shop:
Meijer
Martha's

Tag: LSD

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE:
1. Resident Aide for Alzheimers/dimensia patients
2. Server
3. Grease shop manager
4. Lingerie/adult novelties know it all


FOUR MOVIES YOU WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. Waking Life - except it made my brain hurt
2. Red, White, Blue
3. Closer
4. Tuesdays with maury


FOUR PLACES YOU HAVE LIVED:
1. Grand Rapids, Michigan
2. Sparta, Michigan
3. Carol Stream, Illinois
4. Walker, Michigan


FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH:
1. N/A
2. The cheesy soaps that are on while I clean the house
3. NFL football of any sort
4. Sex and the City


FOUR PLACES YOU HAVE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. Toronto, Ontario
2. Memphis, Tennessee
3. Montpellier/Paris, France
4. Mexico


FOUR OF YOUR FAVOURITE FOODS:
1. Korean Food
2. Chocolate
3. anything actually from Paris
4. Indian anything


FOUR PLACES YOU WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. Eating out at some restaurant with all of my favorite foods combined into a buffet
2. Some where warm and sunny
3. Climbing
4. Wrapped up in a blanket in front of a fire place with J.W.


TAG: Sass, Rev. Brylock

1-2-3-4-5 BREATH

I had my first encounter with emergency CPR today. I went bowling with J.W. and in the middle of game 3 an anouncement came over the sound system "is there a doctor in the house, or a nurse." I walked over to the scene where many people were gathered over a man in his 60's weighing in at around 260 or so. He was laying on his back and his face was slightly blue-ish. There was a crowd around him and one person performing chest compressions. I made my way through and started breathing for him, for about a minute. An R.N. came in and took over for me, and I stood watching as he lay there having his heart pumped and his lungs filled for him. Suddenly it occured to me, tilt his head back and pull his chin down or he'll choke on his tongue so I jumped back in and assisted that way. A man tried to pull me back out of the mix and I told him I knew CPR and what I was doing. 3 minutes and still no pulse, it didn't look good, suddenly the EMT's walked through the door and the crowd called for them. I made my way back to the table I had been sitting at all night and wiped my mouth as many people asked me how the man was. "He's in cardiac arrest, but he has many good signs." I answered as I walked past and sat down at the table.

This night made me too knowingly aware of exactly how mortal each of us are. This man was due for open heart surgery at the end of the month, and he lay on the approach of spectrum lanes. It really hit me as everyone started bowling again, this man was somebody's father, grandfather, uncle, cousin and brother. As a patron of heart failure I realized how pissed I would be at the person just like me.........They helped him breathe for a while and when their duties were passed they went back to drinking beer.

I sympathize with that person who got that phone call that he had had a heart attack and was on his way to the hospital. I thought of all the questions I knew they had running through their mind, and I realized it was better that no one answered them. 3 nurses, and 3 N.T's that just went back to their evening events as soon as he was in someone elses hands.

How many different billions of lives go on as normal while one persons world absolutely falls apart at the mere ringing of the phone. It brings new meaning, for me, to life and all the amazing expectations I have for mine. As my life is merely beginnning and I have endless possibilities, someone else is ending their time on this earth, and many other people are mourning the end of that life.

Dear John's sympathy

I've got nothing really profound to say today. I just wanted ya'all to be able to read what My ex wrote me when I sent him the "dear-john, I don't love you anymore so move on" letter.




Thank u for everything in life i have good toughts from our past and i know that u r happy where u r in life now i still want to keep in touch with u but if its to hard then i understand u gave my life meaning and to this day u still i wish i could change things back but i have burned any chance of that ever happening so may u forgive me for my sins and past problems. i am a happy but sad person still i hope one day i find a girl like u again. Somone that will give my life a reason to smile about and get up everyday and think that i am gald to be live. I hold u in my thoughts and in everything i do i miss the times we had and r missing but i am very happy for u and jon. to me u were my frist true love and always will be to me u r the one that i let slip away with out ever trying to stop it

I hope u do marry jon and i hope u get everything in life u deserve.

Just remember that u a smart and beatuiful women and know this he doesn't make u who u r u make him the man he is. Please don't pray for me for i am ok with out his help in this life.
good bye bethany

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So, he can't type to save his life, but for some strange reason I actualy feel sorry for him. I have waited a long time for the apology from him, and I thought that it would be gratifying and boost my ego. Now that I finally got it, I can't help but have sympathy for him.

Past to Present and the changes in the middle

While out perusing through Best Buy one night, my boyfriend and I ran into an old friend from high school's mom. We stood chatting a while and did a 10 min catch up on the past two years or so. What everyone was up to, and the normal disfunction that has been going on in that family since I was about 8.

After a little chatting both parties had to run and I was left with a phone number to somebody who used to know me better than anyone else on the face of this planet. I pondered the phone number for a couple of days and eventually called her and we set a time for us to catch up.

She came over a couple of days ago and we sat in our dining room chatting about old memories and new occurances in our lives, over coffee. It made us both laugh how different it was that we were sitting over coffee discussing our lives, instead of going out and getting insanely drunk and doing something illegal.

Recap- D.G. and I used to be best friends in high school. She was one of the few people that I maintained contact with post graduation, and we hung out at least once every few months as not to lose touch. This failed and we eventually stopped talking after more than a few incidences of her taking full advantage of my willingness to help a friend out.

It is quite interesting to look back on the years of my life and how I have changed and grown since the day that I met D.G. We were in 2nd grade and she yelled at me for chasing Dave around the playground. I'm sure in high school we had many major meltdowns over my prom dress being stained or the newest fling breaking up with us, but in this conversation we talked of work and the men in our lives. We spent time dwelling on our spirituality and faith, and the newest accomplishments. Everything changed and we changed, neither of us ended up the way we thought we would be at 21. For some reason, though, I couldn't help but sit and think of how lucky I am.

I'm not dating your family

"You can tell them, I don't care, they're just going to start judging you and think you're a whore."

This is the base-line of the recent domestic dispute between the beau and I. We've been basically living together for a period of time now, and it's been great. My family is a bible thumping family and they have learned to accept the fact that my life decisions are mine to make and mine alone. They may not exactly be ok with the fact that I choose to co-habitate with my boyfriend, but they are accepting and supportive of the fact. They think no less of him nor I, but would rather that I not reside with him. The main reasoning of my families distain for my choice is most likely the same as his...we don't believe in sex before marriage and living together is pretty much a guaranteed sign of that. I see their point and I have dually noted this fact.

My problem with the situation is not that I don't understand that point it is this...
I have to bold faced lie when asked if i'm still at home, and it makes me feel as though I need to lie in order to get people to like and accept me. That's bullshit, I have never felt the need to be something i'm not in order to get approval from anybody. I've always been told never to change for anybody and not to worry about how people percieve me. I am who I am. Feeling like I have to don the string of pearls and petticoat whenever i'm in the vicinity of his family bothers me.

Santa's Tale

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I'D JUST READ? CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT, OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD, THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY, AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR, BECAUSE OF THE
SOLDIERS, LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER HOW MANY LAY ALONE, ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE, I DROPPED TO MY KNEES AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE, "SANTA DON'T CRY, THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM, I DON'T ASK FOR MORE, MY LIFE IS MY GOD, MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP, I COULDN'T CONTROL IT, I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS, SO SILENT AND STILL AND WE BOTH SHIVERED FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT, THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE, WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA, IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH, AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I first heard this poem on the radio as I was on my way to Christmas Eve service tonight. It made me cry as I was driving. I don't know who originally wrote it, but I thought it deserved to be read. I am not sure how many of you have loved ones out there in uniform, or how many of you are missing them this holiday season. This war may not be right, nor Americ'as business. I don't really know. The only thing I know for sure is that I support our troops and pray for them to return safely. I have many friends and family enlisted, and my father and grandmother are veterans.

He gave me another chance to begin

I was going through some of my things that are packed away in boxes from my last move home to my mom and dad's. As I sorted through pots and pans, dishes, and an assortment of decorations that i don't remember what possessed my to buy, I stumbled on some sentimentals. Old pictures, things we had bought together, and a book that covered our entire relationship. I don't know why, but before I knew it I was propped up against the bed looking through pictures and reading entries about the days we had spent together. All of the events that had become nothing more than memories of living in another state started flooding back and raced around in my head like horses at the track. Suddenly, instead of just being memories of another time, they became memories of another person. I closed my eyes and could see, clearly as now I see the screen, every small detail of that apartment. Walk in the door and there is a closet to the right, the kitchen is to the left. Walk through the kitchen and there is the dining room table, turn right, living room the back of a blue and white sofa stops your path, end table to the left pushed against the wall, and another sofa against the same wall creating an "L" of furniture. There was a recliner in front of the glass sliding door, and a HUGE entertainment center opposite the sofa against the wall. Turn right into the hallway, light swith on the right, big round light cover just in front of the first bedroom door. Our bedroom....pushed against the far wall and left wall, the bed. Right wall, 3 level free-standing storage full of stuff, clothes, mail....next to that, a dresser. Opposite the bed, large walk-in closet, with another dresser length-wise agains the wall between the end of the bed and the closet with a tv on it. Left out of the bedroom, left into the hallway..closet to the right, bathroom to the right, bedroom to the left. Tim and Kristina's room. Smells of smoke, and pot. they have the bigger room and another bathroom. Could never stand the smell of that room, nor the people who occupied it.
**Banging of something falling down the stairs**
I jumped when I came back into the present reality. I started putting all the memories and thoughts back into the box, but was stopped by one particular picture. It was a picture of the large group of friends all laughing and smiling at the camera, it was the last time all of us were together in that apartment. People graduated, and we moved into an apartment with Ryan and Tyler. I stared blankly at the picture, trying to remember that particular night. The only thing I could recall was that we had played president and asshole (drinking game) and kristina puked outside due to overconsumption of Malibu.
Now that the christmas season is here I can't help but feel a small twinge of pain. I think of the life that I had built with him and the many holiday seasons I spent with him. Each christmas/new year's season, we stood together and looked at the endless possibilities for the new year that was coming. I have been told it's because I'm not over him, but do you really ever get over having your world shattered and your heart ripped out? Sure, you move on and push it to the back of your mind, but it's still there.
This year I look forward to starting a new year for different reasons, than years in the past. I look forward to a true beginning, and a wonderful endless amount of possiblities. I look forward to starting a new year with someone who has absolutely swept me off my feet. More importantly, I look forward to the development of myself in the coming 12 months.
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Happy holidays to everyone. I hope 2006 is good to you!

seriously, what the f---

I've been dreaming this week......which is not really that abnormal. The abnormal part is that they all have pertained to the new object of my affection.

1. He stabs me in the leg with a butcher's knife, and his roommate laughs at me
2. He tells me sex is purely physical and has nothing to do with our relationship and he can find it anywhere, then I throw an ashtray at his head
3. We're eating pizza in the kitchen, then we're having sex.....endlessly
4.We're out to dinner with some friends, who i don't recognize, then we're driving in the mountains somewhere, then we're at sunday afternoon lunch with my family...only we're at his apartment.

I don't have any idea about these dream analysis things, nor do I know if I believe them. SO, i check them out anyways. These are the interpretations I got

STAB-To dream that you have been stabbed, signifies your struggle with power. You may be experiencing feelings of inadequacy and defensiveness. Alternatively, you may be feeling betrayed as the popular phrase goes, "being stabbed in the back".
To dream that you stab someone, indicates your fear of betrayal and your untrusting nature. You may be too much on the defensive.

LAUGH-To dream that you are laughing, suggests that you need to lighten up and let go of your problems. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Laughing is also a sign of joyous release and pleasure.
To hear the cheerful laughter of children, denotes splendid joy and vital health.
To hear evil, demonic laughing in your dream, represents feelings of humiliation and/or helplessness.

ANGER-To dream that you are holding or expressing anger, symbolizes frustrations and disappointments in your Self. You tend to repress your negative emotions or project your anger onto others. You need to look within yourself.
Being angry in your dream may have been carried over from your waking life. Dreams can function as a safe outlet where you can express your strong and/or negative emotions. You have some suppressed anger and aggression that you have not consciously acknowledged.

PIZZA-To see or eat pizza in your dream, represents abundance, choices, and variety. It may also indicate that you are lacking or feeling deprived of something.

SEX-To dream about sex, may be your libido's way of telling you that it's been too long since you have had sex. It may indicate repressed sexual desires and your needs for physical and emotional love.

EATING-To see food in your dream, represents physical and emotional nourishment and energies. The different types of food can symbolize a wide range of things. Generally, fruit is symbolic of sensuality. Frozen foods may imply your cold emotions and frigid ways. Eating certain foods refers to qualities that you need to incorporate within your own self.
To dream that you are eating with others, denotes prosperous undertakings, personal gain, and joyous spirits.

DRIVING-To dream that you are driving a vehicle, signifies your life's journey and your path in life. The dream is telling of how you are moving and navigating through life. If you are driving and cannot see the road ahead of you, then it indicates that you do not know where you are headed in life and what you really want to do with yourself. You are lacking direction and goals.
To dream that someone else is driving you, denotes fortune and that you will profit from your superior knowledge and ingenuity. If you are driving from the passenger side of a car, then it suggests that you are trying to gain control of the path that your life is taking. You are beginning to make your own decisions.



So, after reading all of these interpretations and pyscho-therapy stuff...I still have no conclusion.
Maybe it is merely an overactive imagination going to work, or maybe it really is my sub-concious trying to tell me that I am insecure and scared. Who knows.

retired hooters girls

Baseball bat, anyone?

So today is sunday, and i was raised in the church. Being a part of my family automatically indicates that you presence is required every sunday at church, then for family dinner afterwards. . . not too bad. Until you actually meet my mother.

Everybody has a fully functioning disfuntion somewhere, somehow in their family. Ours is that, even though my mother tries with all her power to hide it, all of the children resent her for the parental cramming of religion down our throats. Now, raising your children in the church is not a bad thing. I do believe that many of my good morals, and absence in the presence of attrocities such as being a crack addicted hoe, have spawned from being in the church.

I do not, however, believe that as a fully functioning and independant 21 year old...I should be forced to be in attendance to the facility of my mother's choice every sunday morning and evening. If I chose to stay home and lay in bed with my boyfriend, is that not my decision to make? God's gift of free will was not a rash mistake he made in the creation process. Free will and the ability to make decisions for ourselves was an attribute we were blessed with.

Now, the bad becomes worse when one of us starts dating an individual. They have now, usually uknowingly, been dragged into this idea that all decent human beings must be at church every sunday, and then family dinner afterward. If you are a potential for one of her children, the first and foremost pre-requisite is that you attend church. Fine and Dandy. The catch is...you must then change your religion and preference of establishments to her personal favorite...my"home church." No questions asked, end of discussion, deal with it or get the hell out.

This is my dillema. How, for the love of everything, do you approach the religion topic in such a manner without saying...

"My mother is friggin psycho and demands that you go to "our" church every sunday and then come to her house for family dinner afterwards. Every sunday. And if we get married, for the rest of your natural life."

Everything about religion is based on faith, beliefs, and choice. It is your choice to become a believer, attend services, live a "godly" life, or to completely forego the idea of religion all together. You have to make those decisions based on what you believe and your personal faith in higher deity. Correct me if i'm wrong, but i don't recall a passage in the good book saying anything along the lines of ....

"believe what my mother believes, or you're going to hell....in a handbasket."

I have been in attendance of my family church since I was 18 months old. I became a member at 15, and then I realized what a whole big world there was out there. Does that mean that I have completely turned my back on religion, NO. This simply means that I have decided to live a life where I experience the things I wish to experience. Some very bad circumstances have become of these decisions, but they were mine non the less. God did not strike me dead because I decided to have a beer, sleep with my boyfriend, or smoke a cigarette. Were these "correct" decisions....well I'll let ya know after I'm dead. I still have a very religous base, I do not claim to be a christian. I claim to be a believer, I believe in God and the trinity. I believe in Heaven and Hell, I believe that the basics of human existence is based on his divine..for lack of a better word...power. I believe he created the earth, and that someday I will see him. Whether or not I am wrong is unkown to anyone. Like I said, I'll let you know when I'm dead.

I am happy with my life and my life decisions. I am not always proud, but i'm content with them, and to let them go. Being that I'm my mothers (adopted) daughter, I feel the need to don my wings and halo whenever I am in her presence. I would like to tell her that I had a totally fuckin rockin day at the climbing gym, or that her opinions are driving me up a wall and to watch out for the guys in white coats with needles that are coming to put her in a padded room. Instead, out of sheer debt to her, I smile and just walk away. This has become a problem also. Fuck, I just can't win.

I love the woman, mainly because she's my mother, but Damn, I can't stand her.

wow, i got way off track. Sorry about the endless ramblings about my mother....I hate rambling.

Anyways, Freedom of religion. Anybody remember that? i'm pretty sure that's quite a hot issue around these states. Now, if somebody would baseball bat that into some people's heads... people wouldn't need beer, strip clubs, and recreational drugs.

Manipulative....(radio edit)

My friend, we'll call her lucy, is dating an absolutely wonderful guy who takes care of her every whim. She manages( somehow) to get him to believe that she is the good christian, family oriented, semi-conservative type of woman that he wants to marry. (This is wrong)

They are dating for around 2 months, and already the talk of indefinite ties to each other are in their very near future...ie..kids, marriage, buying a house, and vacations to such places as Hawaii. This wouldn't be all so bad, except for the fact that she is lying to herself and everyone around her. Lucy, is the party girl that pretends to be christian reformed (whole other conversation of hypocrisy and double standards).

Ok...back up, background on Lucy.

I meet her when we are both working at a restaraunt in grand rapids. She is 19 and i'm newly 21. . . Need I say more. Get drunk, go to work, and kiss as many boys as possible. Our differences, she likes the recreational use of certain substances...ok...not so recreational, more like daily. She is introduced to my friend, Alex, and decides that he is of the dateable type. WRONG. They merely turn into fuck buddies, and she ends up falling off the earth to date this guy....Pat. So a mere, 2 days after having a completely physical and un-emotional encounter with Alex, she meets Pat...and suddenly, a leopard CAN change it's spots.

back to the story.

She meets Pat, moves in with him, and now they have been self consumed in their couple-ness for a little over 3 months. This is fine...fast moving relationships are not a bad thing (personal experience, i'm in one). The false sense of security that she is getting out of this relationship is a bad thing.

Now there is definite talk of babies...wait..hold on, no. SHE wants a baby, he wants one SOMEDAY!!! big difference. She has imbeded into her blonde little skull, that because of there is talk of the future it is definite. WRONG.

She has now swindled him buying her a car, letting her drive his Navigator until then, buying a new house (in Jenison/hudsonville), and taking a cruise.

Lucy and Pat decide one day to actually talk about babies, marriage, and all that jazz. He wants them someday, and she decides that in the 3 months they have been together....it is too long to go without hearing the "L" word. (what is it in a girl's brain that makes her think that the minute she actually hears that word, everything is set in stone and she can just do whatever she wants because she has won the battle....WRONG). She tells him "I can't have your baby, you don't even love me."

*Pause* thinking of how many different ways I'd like to tell her that her brain is full of mush and she's a lying manipulative bitch....

Ok...No one ever said Pat wanted babies immediately. She thinks a baby will make him marry her sooner. Tricking someone into saying something like "I love you" is just wrong. It completely devoids it of all true emotion and feeling. Love is not obligational when coming to voluntary relationships. I am indebted, and have to love my mother..not so with my boyfriend. I don't know if this is actually a spawn off of a horrible childhood, or if she has a gross misconception that words are indefinite.

So, quick overview.
She likes him because he takes care of her and pays for everything. and he says I love you.

Sad little being.

Yeah, you're a moron

I go to the bar last night with my boyfriend to meet up with some old friends I haven't seen in a while. We go through the introductions and I say "hi" My friend is there with his ex-girlfriend and his new girlfriend is going to be there later.

Ok...bad scenario in many ways. He rides with his ex (who his current doesn't like) and plans to ride home with her. His current is a cop....ummm...need I say more

Anyways..We drink, and laugh. Jon and I laugh at the drunkeness of the two, and evaluate the new girlfriend.

"Hmmm....maybe she's the good, settle down type." Now this is as bad as when a guy asks if your single friend is hot and you reply with "they're cute" or they "have a great personality"

So, as the night closes Jon and I are going to leave early. But of course, we stay for the last songs.

Friends in low places
Sweet home alabama

We leave, get home, and of course.....the phone rings

It's my buddy on a drunken rambling about how he still loves his ex, and doesn't know what to do. Not to mention, he decided since the lines weren't clearly drawn about his new girl...he slept with someone else.

I listen to his ramblings, knowing full well he's drunk and, there's no reasoning with him. . .

So, boys and girls...lesson for today

DON'T bring your ex girlfriend to the bar when you know you're meeting your current there.
Oh...and don't run around screwing other people...even if there is a grey area..
Just asking for an ass whooping.

why every man dreads having a daughter...

http://www.blastro.com/player/customheymister.html?artist=Custom&shash=5bab63a06e596c64891986620d4f8d8b

What everywoman should have...

one old loveshe can imaginegoing back to
and one who reminds her how far she has come

enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own
even if she never wants to or needs to

something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour

a youth she's content to leave behind
and a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a blacklace bra

one friend who always makes her laugh
and one who lets her cry

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family

eight matching plates, wineglasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored

a feeling of control over her destiny

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
how to fall in love without losing herself
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship

when to try harder... and when to walk away

that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents

that her childhood may not have been perfect...
but its over

what she would and wouldn't do for love

how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it

whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally

where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchentable
or a charming inn in the woods
when her soul needs soothing

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year...