I was talking with friends again tonight after work, and having a drink. Me, sitting on my couch drinking sleepy time tea, them parked on the couch drinking a beer. We started talking about all the old friends and all the old fun times. The other two girls are currently single and "loving it." Even though both of them are still "talking" to their exes, which means casual sexual encounters. They walked us through the past few months of their lives and the repetition that it appeared to be going through. A thought finally crossed my mind, what is the difference between history repeating itself, repetition, and habit?
When you are going through the motions of your everyday life, but you stop every now and then and put your heart into utter turmoil for the evening of satisfaction with someone you love. All the while knowing that nothing meaningful is coming out of this interaction. They know full well that the love is no longer mutual, and the other party is out with other people frequently. Yet, almost weekly they go there, spend the night, give them a kiss goodbye and there is no other communication until the next encounter.
What happens in the center of human emotion that allows oneself to create self inflicted pain and heartache in the hope that the love will eventually be two-sided? All the while knowing exactly what is going to happen if these encounters develop, yet again, into a realtionship. Been there, done that, moved on...nope, going back again, and again, and again.
I would personally like to think that the pain of losing that love all at once would create less hurt than losing them over and over and over. Then there is the flip-side of this, what is keeping the other party coming back again? Perhaps the sheer availability, the familiarity, not adding another "notch to the belt?"
When, after all things concidered, is it just repetition? Is it concidered habit? Or, is it merely history repeating itself in that they will go back to familiar and have their hearts broken once again? Is it ever concidered desperation, and when does it become that?
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4 comments:
Yup,
For me, when its over. It is seriously over. Like as over as over can be. The funny thing is, this seems to drive the other side of the relationship into a frenzy of sorts. Once they realize that I meant it was over. They want to try again.
"I think we should talk things over and see if we can work it out."
"Um.... But it's over."
"Well, I think that there is still something there between us. Don't you?"
"Well, not really. No. You see, it's over. Done. Finished. No more. Dead. reached the end."
"I'll call you."
"Right, OK then."
my line is 'when i'm dumped, i stay dumped'
and that's about it. i have an ex who shows up every six-twelve months like clockwork and tells me i'm the one that got away.
who gives a shit? that was nine years ago dude. move on. get a life.
but i've never led him on, i call him on it when he makes little you're my girlfriend comments and i never encourage him.
those girls are fools for sleeping with those boys. for their own self respect if nothing else.
it's habit and it's easier to go back to the same old heart break then to move on to something new.
i can sympathise to some extent.
i don't really understand what drives people to do stupid things. I've never gone back to an ex, well, in high school.
but that's high school.
Over is over is over.
I can sympathize a little, i thought about it a time or two with the last ex, but i never did.
hey i've thought about it too and once the day after we split up i went over and was like 'i don't think we should have done that' and then two weeks later we broke up again but MUCH nicer and no hard feelings... so that was okay.
but otherwise?
you can dump me all you want just don't expect me to be here when you get back.
beaus i think it's called self respect. you have it.
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